I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
