its not stalking. its research.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
