covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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