I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
