I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
