I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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