Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
