Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
