Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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