she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
