Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.

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(480): View more from Arizona

how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?

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(309): View more from Illinois

so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.

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(816): View more from Missouri

and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours

(816): View more from Missouri

outstanding.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(810): View more from Michigan

during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"

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(315): View more from New York

don't pay it forward

(1-315): View more from New York

I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced

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(850): View more from Florida

So this bar tattoo not looking that great now

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(281): View more from Texas

her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.

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(675): View more from

He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.

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