I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize