i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
