the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
