a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize