Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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