i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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