His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
