he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize