so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
