You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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