Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
