I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
