I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
