In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
