I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
