whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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