im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
