i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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