That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
