yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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