Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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