Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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