I wish I could teleport
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
