ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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