ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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