I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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