Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
