you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
