Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
soo... how was my night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
