Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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