whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
