As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
