I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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