I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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