We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
