Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
