I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
