Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
