Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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