I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
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I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I love you.
Bad choice
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