yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
