I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
