I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
