Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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