Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
