I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
