he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
