party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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