I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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