I hate your face
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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