4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
